Future Imperfect
by SpiritOfEowyn
Summary: Being blunt can result in ...interesting...misunderstandings. Piper and Chris travel to the past and create much confusion.Paige, Prue, Leo, Phoebe.Family... reunions Combined effort. Please review. Time Travel-New: chapter 6!
1. Default Chapter

_Future Imperfect_

Charmed ficlet

Humor

Disclaimer: If we owned anything this would not be it.  Although we do live a semi-charmed kind of life. (Yeah right….)

Summary: Being blunt can create some…interesting…misunderstandings. Piper, Leo, Chris, Phoebe and Prue.

Spoilers: Up through most recent episode. (Feb-26-2004)

_Gideon found out that Piper was pregnant with her second son.  He has lost his patience and is out to kill her. To save his and Piper's life, Chris makes a last ditch effort to save both their lives.  He plans to take her to the past, but only at a point in time where Gideon doesn't see Piper as a threat. Needless to say, Chris made a mistake, he sent them to a time when Prue was still alive and Leo and Piper were only a few months away from being married._

The Charmed Ones and their whitelighter, Leo, were in the attic looking up a demon in the Book of Shadows, you know, their usual Saturday night activity. In a flash of bright light and what sounded like a vacuum cleaner, a very pregnant Piper fell onto Chris, startling her counterpart and sisters. 

The pregnant woman stared at Prue and then asked Chris in a testy voice, "Where did you orb us?"

Chris winced, and answered, "The spell was only supposed to take us away from…" he glanced at the Charmed Ones of the past and amended his sentence, saying, "The Elder who wants you dead."

"So, _when_ exactly are we?" 

"You're me…and you're…." the past and very _not_ pregnant Piper stammered in astonishment, gesturing at her twin's belly. That was as far as she got however, because the demon they had been looking up appeared.  Today's baddie was wearing the most ridiculous clothes and resembled greatly a deranged rabbit the size of a horse.

"Whoa," said Piper freezing everything but the thing's head, "I don't remember seeing you." She turned to the Charmed Ones, "Do you need any information from him?"

The three shook their heads dumbly.  "Okay," Piper said turning back to the demon and casually blowing up.

"You blew him up!" Prue said, momentarily playing the part of Captain Obvious. 

"How did you…I…you do that? I can't…" past Piper trailed off in confusion.

"Yet," Chris muttered.

"Well," Phoebe said trying to figure out a way to dispel the tension, "that's one less spell for me to write."

"Who are you?" Leo asked Chris, looking between him and the pregnant Piper.

"I'm Chris, her whitelighter," he said pointing.

"Why isn't Leo our whitelighter in the future—you _are_ from the future, right?" Prue asked in an add tone that was somehow defiant and utterly confused at the same time.

"Because he isn't a whitelighter anymore," Piper answered testily, not bothering to answer the second half of Prue's question as it was obvious.

"What about…" Phoebe started, but was cut off by Chris, who suddenly realized it probably wouldn't be a very good idea to let them know too much about their own future, and said so.

"Ok, then, how about questions about _you_. Are you single?" Phoebe said, eyeing Chris, conveniently forgetting Cole.

"Phoebe! Don't even _suggest_ that! It makes me sick to my stomach!" Piper said, placing a hand on her belly, as it truly did make her feel queasy (but then, _everything_ made her feel queasy when she was pregnant). She, not so subtly, moved in between Phoebe and Chris, to stop her sister from getting any more ideas.

"I was engaged once," Chris said rather more quietly, glancing at Piper in front of him and then to the ground.

Piper shook her head and got back to the most important subject—the reason they were in the past.  "So, how long do you think it will take him to track us?"

"Not nearly as long as I'd like it to, but you are _not_ allowed to fight him." Chris said seriously.

"Come on!" Piper retorted with a small smile on her face, "I'm invincible, super-witch, you know?"

"It's not like with my brother, things are different," Chris insisted.

"Brother?" Prue asked, half to remind them that there were other people in the room who were confused and half because she was wondering how this guy's brother was involved in any of this.

"My brother causes problems," Chris said moodily.

"He has never caused real problems for me. I love your brother! I _am_ going to fight, whether you like it or not."

"Piper, don't you dare. Not after all the hard work I put into making sure you got pregnant in the first place!" Chris put a hand on each shoulder, holding her at arms length, "I will not allow you to risk that baby!"

Leo's jaw dropped. Past Piper blushed furiously and the other two sisters' eyes were popping out of their heads. 

"You what?!" Phoebe exclaimed.

Chris turned to Phoebe and, momentarily forgetting he was speaking to a Phoebe of the past, "Well, you were the one who was going to give her the love potion and the aphrodisiacs so she would do it!" Phoebe looked like she had just swallowed her teeth at that comment.

"That's what those aphrodisiacs were for!?" the pregnant woman said in a menacing tone.

The past Piper, rather embarrassed and very fed up, tried to freeze Chris before things went any further—but of course it didn't work.

"Always knew Piper had a thing for whitelighters," Prue muttered.

"Piper, you know I can't be frozen," Chris said exasperated, "it's not like I'm the first half-whitelighter in the family."

"And while we are on the subject—she told me you wished for Jeannie-Phoebe to make us sleep together!" Piper fumed, still upset about the aphrodisiacs.

"I only did what I had to do to survive. And do we have to discuss this _now_, in front of _them_?" Chris said pointedly, glancing at their nonplussed audience.

At this point, Piper had to sit down to ease some of the queasiness in her stomach.  Piper pointed at her six-months swollen stomach and said, "_You're_ the reason I'm in this predicament, remember?"

Leo looked between Chris and Piper, trying to figure out if he was supposed to cry or throw Chris out the window.

"Piper," he said in a quiet voice, gaining the attention of the arguing visitors, "Why did we break up?"

"You left us," Piper said in a sad voice looking back to Chris.

"And all I got was letters." Chris muttered.

"Were we married?" Leo asked, trying to puzzle out who the 'us' was that Piper was talking about.

"Yes, we _were_," Piper answered reluctantly.

"Then why did you marry _him_?" Leo asked in desperate confusion, pointing at Chris.

Piper blinked, "Marry?" she looked at Chris perplexed, as the question sank in. Both of them realized what Leo had said at the same moment and scurried as far away from each other as the attic would allow with horrified and disgusted looks on their face.

Piper was trying to figure out what to say when Chris piped up, managing to say, "Whatever problems I might have, an Oedipus complex is _not_ one of them!"

Piper nodded vigorously, "We are not even _going_ there. You guys have _sick_ minds!"

A.N. This is what happens when one roommate is struck by a crazy plot bunny and introduces the fluffy little thing to her roommate.  Then they both nurture it until 2:30 in the morning.  

This is co-written with Spirit of Eowyn's wonderful perfect beautiful ingenious roommate kateydidnt (http:/ / www. Fanfiction. Net /~ kateydidnt   [take out the spaces]). Can you guess which one of us typed this? 

Watch out for the deranged pink fluffy rabbits! (Wait…didn't we kill that particular demon in this story…)


	2. Sequels to One shot

Future Imperfect: rant 2 aka The Sequel.

Honestly Kateydidnt and I had no plans to do anything more on this. The fic was designed to be a stand alone… but fluffy plot bunnies have their own plans. ( plus all the reviews left me dizzy Thank you to everyone who reviewed!)This is another silly add to the first part, not really a plot or story, just silly misadventures strung together for the sake of making people laugh. If you want serious go read my Eyries and Elders cause you won't find serious so much here. And I'm going Solo on this one. Katydidnt is busy with Harry Potter.

~~

Last time:

Piper blinked, "Marry?" she looked at Chris perplexed, as the question sank in. Both of them realized what Leo had said at the same moment and scurried as far away from each other as the attic would allow with horrified and disgusted looks on their face.

Piper was trying to figure out what to say when Chris piped up, managing to say, "Whatever problems I might have, an Oedipus complex is _not_ one of them!"

Piper nodded vigorously, "We are not even _going_ there. You guys have _sick_ minds!"

~~~

Leo looked very relieved. 

"Then you two haven't…" Phoebe said gesturing between the two visitors. "You know. Made-"

"Stop! Just stop that train of thought there." Chris begged Phoebe in desperation.

"Then how else could he have gotton you pregnant?" Prue asked Older Piper.

"Geh. Can we just drop that _whole_ line of thought?" Pregnant Piper asked.

Past Piper had her hands over her face. "I second that. Can we get off the topic of MY future sex life?"

"How can you people even _think _that about us?" Chris said disgusted, still getting over the shock.

"Well what were we supposed to think?" Phoebe asked.

"What do you mean by Oedipus complex? Does Piper look like your Mom?" Leo asked more calmly. Heck anything to confirm that the love of his life hadn't fallen for another whitelighter.

"Uh. Yeah you could say there is quite a resemblance. Only you know, my mom's older." Chris said with what little humor could be afforded in this situation.

Pregnant Piper snickered.

"Then you're just good friends and Chris worries about keeping the Halliwell line going." Prue guessed.

Pregnant Piper looked at Chris, crossing her arms. "Something like that."

Piper the younger was quite ready to drop it at that, and her sisters weren't sure they wanted to try and analyze where what the visitors arguments had said had led to the contrary.

"Right, well, It's important." Chris said getting back to his aloof self.

"Right… so then besides that what do you do for the charmed ones." Leo asked trying to change the subject for his fiancee's sake.

"Babysitting, and trying to keep the Halliwell baby from becoming the worse evil that's ever been." Chris said challengingly.

Phoebe winced. "So Cole and I get married."

Chris looked at Future Piper significantly as if to ask "Cole?"

"Yes, but we have bigger problems than who's marrying whom ok?" Piper said uneasy with the situation.

"I agree, so how about we go downstairs and we can talk about what's _really_ important. Like how do we get you guys back." Past Piper said.

"I agree." Future Piper said.

"Well of course you agree with her… you- you're vote shouldn't count." Phoebe said upset

"Well I agree we've been discussing superfluous problems." Leo said

"Thanks Leo." Piper chorused- with herself.

"Okay was that creepy for anyone else?" Phoebe asked putting her arms up.

Prue nodded preoccupied. She was more concerned now that it seemed like Chris their whitelighter from the future hadn't even really known who she was.

~~

Ok who wants me to throw Paige in here to add more fuel to the fire? :P More confusion! Please Review!


	3. chapter 3

Future Imperfect goes in for another round - 3 times the silly ness

  Disclaimer: I own the words I type, but I don't own the Charmed Ones or the TV show, and contrary to what some of the reviewers seem to think, I don't own Drew Fuller and I don't believe in making guys your slaves. In fact personally I don't even know the guy.  Sorry girls.

Last time on Future Imperfect

"Thanks Leo." Piper chorused- with herself.

"Okay was that creepy for anyone else?" Phoebe asked putting her arms up.

Prue nodded preoccupied. She was more concerned now that it seemed like Chris their whitelighter from the future hadn't even really known who she was.

 In the kitchen…

Pregnant Piper was drinking some chamomile tea that her past counterpart had made for her.

Chris was discussing spells that could return them to the future, while dodging questions about the future.

"So am I married in the future?" Prue probed.

"How should I know?"

"But you said you're the charmed ones Whitelighter, why wouldn't you?!" Prue argued.

"Look, I'm not going to tell you anything."

"Am I even IN the future?" Prue said annoyed.

"Don't be ridiculous Prue! If the charmed ones exist in the future then so do you." Past Piper said logically.

Phoebe played around writing possible spells for their return.

Out of time

Out of space,

Return us to our proper place.

No… that rhymed too much and didn't seem complicated enough to send them back.

Her mind wandered. So Cole and I have a child. Our Visitors must be from at least 3-5 years into the future. I wonder what she looks like? She really can't be evil. I'm a good witch, that's got to show in my children right?

Leo was studying the future Piper and Chris. It didn't make sense. Why would he ever leave Piper? He just couldn't imagine doing it. From the way Piper had reacted when he had asked about it, it couldn't be because they had fought, or that she had wanted him to leave. Pregnant Piper was looking at him with a sad expression on her face. Had he died? Killed by a Darklighter? He couldn't get married to Piper knowing that in a few years (future piper wasn't that much older looking) he would end of leaving her, pregnant. He had to talk to her. He nodded at her gesturing towards the living room. She wandered out. He followed her.

"Come on Chris tell her she's in the future." Piper said annoyed, if he'd just say that then they'd stop arguing.

"Uh…" Chris said looking around for help.  "Phoebe! So how is that spell coming along?"  He acted very interested in what she was writing.

"It's not long enough."

"Really, that's very interesting." Chris was pointedly ignoring Piper and Prue.

~~

Leo and Future Piper sat on a couch.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Piper, I can't imagine ever leaving you-"

"You didn't want to."

"Did I die?" He asked quietly.

"No." How could she tell him he became an Elder? If she told him, would it make him distance himself from her?

Leo looked distract, she had to tell him something that would help.

"Even now, almost a year since you left us, I don't regret having married you." Piper said. "I have to hope that someday it will work out."

How could she not regret it? He could sense her loneliness and pain from here.

"Chris hates me."

"No, he just resents the future you for leaving me." Piper said. 

That made sense, no Whitelighter liked to see one of his charges in pain. And I will be the one to cause it. He shook his head.

"How can I get married to, well you, knowing that I'm going to be causing you this much pain?" Leo asked worried.

She took his hand and put her other one on her stomach.

"This is our second child, Leo-"

Leo's eyes widened. "That's even worse! I leave you alone pregnant, and abandon our first daughter?" (they thought Piper was going to have a daughter then) "How can you still-"

"I hated you for a while for it, but I came to know that you were the only man I could ever love. I tried dating around afterward, to try and forget you, but it never worked." Piper said looking at the floor.

Leo wrapped his arms around her. "Oh Piper."

Past Piper stood in the hallway, trying not to be jealous of her fiancée holding onto another woman. After all the other woman was technically her. Her future self which was somehow abandoned by said fiancée. How did that work?

Meanwhile in the kitchen Phoebe was trying out a spell

We don't know how

To get our sister home

So we ask the Halliwell power

Bring to us across the times

Out of space 

Out of time

A source of good to bring them home

**POOF**

Blue light shined down and a redhead fell.

"Woah!" the new girl said looking around.

"Paige!?" Chris said surprised.

~~

HA HA HA cliffhanger. Sorry about the serious part in the middle but I had to show the piper/leo love. Although taunting Leo is kinda fun. L


	4. Family Oblivious

Future Imperfect takes another swing at it.

Disclaimers:: I don't own the charmed ones, past, present and future.

IMPORTANT:: I decided to be democratic. And let you, the readers have a vote in this.

 I'm  taking a poll on where this story should go Please EMAIL me at starsenshi_@hotmail.com with your answer. (if you want to affect the outcome) someday I should start an email group and do a poll that way, but till then- 

What should happen in the story as a result of the spell at the end of the chapter?(it's purposefully ambiguous) A. the people from the future will go home to their time.

B. The spell doesn't work.

C. 1. because of faulty writing everyone in that room gets sent to the future(season 6).

2. they get sent to Chris's future.

It's like Choose your own Adventure/fanfic!

(The poll ends next Friday 3/19/04 at 2:30pm Mountain standard time (USA) maybe earlier if I get a lot of answers)   :D

On with the show.

**POOF**

Blue light shined down and a redhead fell.

"Woah!" the new girl said looking around.

"Paige!?" Chris said surprised.

"Who's this?" Prue asked Chris

"Oh uh, this is my sister, Paige." Chris said thinking fast "She's ½ whitelighter too."

Paige gave him a weird look. If she really was his sister that would complicate things in future huh? Piper as her mom. Oh heck no. That sister of hers was a slavedriver.

"Right, his _sister," _Paige said putting her hands in her pockets. "How did I end up here Chris? Where ever here is. Not that I'm not grateful to be saved from- the one guy but-" Paige stared at Prue. "oh."

Phoebe piped in "A spell actually. My spell. "

"Time travel." Paige said annoyed to Chris. 

"Yeah." He admitted.

"You know I do see some sort of family resemblance between you two." Prue said looking from one whitelighter to the other. Phoebe nodded.

Paige laughed nervously. "Yeah." She said the same way Chris had.

"Amazing! I look a lot like my parents and family and not one of you has even ever mentioned that before." Chris said throwing his hands up.

"L- the Good Elder got very worried when he found out you two just vanished." Paige said to change the subject before her older sisters looked too closely at the family resemblances. Before they realized that he had Piper's eyes and attitude and Leo's build. And so forth.

Which brought up a very good question. WHY had it taken them so long to realize that he was Piper and Leo's son? There really weren't that many witch/whitelighter couples and he did look a lot like them. ((why indeed))

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to travel back in time, then, I just panicked" Chris said feeling like he needed to explain himself to his aunt. He put up his hands and shrugged.

"What do you mean the 'good' Elder, Aren't ALL Elders inherently good?" Prue asked.

"Uh, Chris, I know you want to answer that one." Paige said volunteering her nephew. 

"In the future, things get a little complicated." Chris said as vaguely as possible.

"Uh huh. Mind telling us why my spell brought your sister here?" Phoebe asked.

" Come on now, Pheebs, can't you just forsee the answer?" Paige said

"Pheebs? No one calls me that-"

"oo-k Phoebe." Paige said rolling her eyes.

"How do you know my name?" Phoebe drilled.

"Cause, uh, I'm –" Paige looked to Chris for help. She didn't know what story he had already told them about himself.

"The other charmed one's whitelighter, you know, Since I'm only ½ whitelighter, we need two of us to heal, and stuff." Chris covered up quicky.

If Paige had been a telepath at that moment she would have told Chris what a brilliant liar he was. She'd tell him anyway later, if it wouldn't blow their cover. 

Wait a sec. Why am I covering anything up?

"What he said. Is Piper Ok? Where is she?" Paige asked, not seeing that particular sister.

Past Piper chose that moment to return to the kitchen, having heard a suspicious magic noise.

"I'm fine." She said not seeing Paige yet.

Paige turned around and saw Piper the very not pregnant.

"Piper! Oh no! You lost the baby?" Paige said looking very concerned. A lightbulb seemed to go off in her head… she turned to Chris. "Wait a second- you're ok." She looked very confused.

Prue and Phoebe looked on in utter confusion. Were all ½ whitelighters this weird and vague?

"Who is that?" Past Piper asked with the same sort of confusion on her face as her current sisters.

"This is the Past's Piper, _Paige_." Chris said as an aside to her.

Paige's mouth made an 0 shape.

"The Short of it, this girl is supposed to help get the other you back to her time." Prue said not wanting to go through introductions again.

"oh. Ok." Piper said indicating that she was building up a tolerancy for the extremely weird.

Meanwhile, Our Season 6 Piper was taking some comfort in the past. ::cough cough:: (author averts her eyes, It's nothing that explicit. A few kisses, no groping, lots of hugs, after all Past Leo doesn't want to seem like he's cheating on his fiancée by doing stuff with his wife. Err.. Future wife…. Or Ex-wife,- whatever.)

How did the Leo she had known change from this loving man, to the distant aloof Elder of the future? Leo had said that it was their love that had made him an Elder. Did that mean that her love would destroy any man? The men before Leo would agree with that. Poor Dan. If she hadn't have been a charmed one would even Jeremy had turned so evil?

"Piper?"

"Right, uh sorry." Future Piper said disengaging herself from Leo. She had to remind herself that this was PAST Leo and therefore not hers. Not that he was hers anymore. What was up with that? In their marriage vows he had said that he was hers always… but maybe promises didn't matter to Elders.

"I didn't mean to –" Leo stopped when he saw Paige, the now redhead.

"Wo, Piper, I don't think this is the TIME or place to be getting any action." Paige teased.

"Uh, who are you?" Leo asked separating from future Piper more.

"Paige! How did you get here?" Piper said answering Leo's question.

"Phoebe messed up a spell." Paige said proudly. After all it wasn't often that that happened. In fact she was usually blamed for spell problems.

"This times Phoebe?" Piper asked

"The very same."

"Oh." Future Piper didn't seem too surprised.

The rest of the crew decided that would be a good time to come in.

Future Piper was trying not to stare at her older sister. It was weird, it was like watching her own memories of how Prue acted.

"I came up with a spell." Chris said eagerly. It was hard to keep secrets from the hard driving Prue… and two of his mother? It would be too much to stand. Every moment here he was in fear of the two of them ganging up on him and getting a lecture from both of his moms at the same time.

"Right, responsibilities call." Piper said with renewed vigor. She got up and was determined not to look back at Leo for fear that she would break down and not leave at all.

Paige could see how forlorn her sister looked and went over to hug her.

"Let's get this show on the road." Paige said eagerly looking from one Piper to the other. She wished that she could have gotton to know Prue. But if they didn't get back Leo the elder would have a hernia. She also didn't want to think about what could happen to Wyatt and even Leo while they were gone.

Paige, Chris and Future Piper put their hands together and recited.

"Witches of the Haliwell line,

We call to you through space and time,

As three to whom thy power ties

Bring us back to where our proper space lies.

In time to save our family line.

Blue and Purple light glowed around the three as they each represented a part of the charmed ones power. Past Present and Future.

~~~

Yes I know that was a horrible spell _;;

(Wow. I'm done, I had a weird dream last night, it involved unprocessed meat and the modern charmed ones having to do a weird modern dance on the top of a building to prove that they had the creative spirit or something so some magical creature would help them stop some evil.. I thought it was a real episode I was watching before I woke up.(( Katydidnt thought I should tell you guys that )) )

On another note on silly charmed things, I was looking through my British Lit book, and I saw this heading- "Sir Thomas _Wyatt The Elder _1503-1542

Some of his poems were titled "Farewell, Love" "The long love that in my thought doth harbor." "And wilt thou leave me thus" and "Forget not yet."

Also there is a Chris Perry who is a professional athlete.

Yeah Random thoughts!

Thank you all for all of your reviews!  I loved them all! (if you have any other seneros  that you think I should write let me know :D I could have it not work, or have the reaction of what happens when they return to the future.)

**Miss Poisonous** :I tried to do some Prue angst maybe I'll do a little more.

**GoldStranger:** I'm glad you thought it was funny. Although as Anne of Green gables would say "I wasn't trying to be funny." But if it turned out that way yay!

If you guys haven't noticed I've been adjusting this fic according to all of your comments.


	5. Questions, confusions and Answers

Future Imperfect Chapter 5

Rated-PG

Author notes: Well I decided not to go to Chris's future right now, because well- have you SEEN how many fics here at FF.net have them go there?  I hope this is still funny. Comments, reviews even flames are appreciated! J This chapter happens before Spin City and doesn't follow that episode's events.

 Last time….

"Right, responsibilities call." Piper said with renewed vigor. She got up and was determined not to look back at Leo for fear that she would break down and not leave at all.

Paige could see how forlorn her sister looked and went over to hug her.

"Let's get this show on the road." Paige said eagerly looking from one Piper to the other. She wished that she could have gotton to know Prue. But if they didn't get back Leo the elder would have a hernia. She also didn't want to think about what could happen to Wyatt and even Leo while they were gone.

Paige, Chris and Future Piper put their hands together and recited.

"Witches of the Haliwell line,

We call to you through space and time,

As three to whom thy power ties

Bring us back to where our proper space lies.

In time to save our family line.

Blue and Purple light glowed around the three as they each represented a part of the charmed ones power. Past Present and Future.

            Leo squinted and Phoebe covered her eyes from the bright lights coming from the future people. They were surprised to find then that Future Piper, Paige, and Chris were still in the attic when the lights faded. After all when spells didn't work they rarely if ever had pretty lights with them.

            Prue was about to announce that it hadn't worked when she saw Phoebe across the room looking older and with boy cut hair.

            Paige saw said Phoebe first and announced "We're back!" hugging her older sister, not looking at the tagalongs behind her. Older Piper just smiled looking relieved back to Chris.

Older Phoebe( A/N :be glad I'm not referring to her as boy-Phoebe for short ;) ) at first looked relieved to see Paige "I was so worried, first Piper disapeered, and then you-" she looked over Paige's shoulder to see the 'visitors' 

"Um… guys?" Her eyes gestured behind them.

"What?" Chris asked worried there might be demons behind them ready to attack-after all doesn't that happen every week? Anyways he turns around to see Prue.

"So, what, the spell didn't work and we all got transported to your time?" Prue said taking on the Captain obvious role.

            "Where's Piper?" Leo asked looking around, just now realizing she wasn't by his side.

            "Uh, Hi. I'm right here." Pregnant Piper said waving her hand.

            "I think he means OUR Piper- she's gone." Past Phoebe said looking around.

Meanwhile In the season three past, a very confused Piper climbed the stairs to the attic, food in hand.

            "Uh. Guys? LEO?!"

She had at some point before the spell was read, gone downstairs to get food for the visitors since it seemed like they'd be around for a while.

            How you ask? Why by the power of Whim of the fanfic writer of course. Powerful magic that. Why? Because two Pipers was confusing my simple mind.

            "I think we were supposed to draw a chalk circle around us to contain the magic." Piper said trying to explain.

            "Hey, one badly written spell deserves another I say." Past Phoebe said nervously, trying to be liberal since she'd messed up the spell that had brought Paige.

            "Speaking of which, how did you two*motioning at the ½ whitelighters* use a spell that was meant for Halliwell witches?" Prue asked suspiciously

            "It didn't work just right did it?" Chris said looking uncomfortable.

            "And uh, we're LIKE family." Paige said patting Future Phoebe on the shoulder.

            "Well however it happened, I think I should go check with the elders-" Leo said uncomfortable. Talking to the Elders was his usual solution to any problem.

Half a beat later he found himself held bodily by Paige Chris and Future Phoebe who chorused. "NO!!"

"You can't do that!" Chris said panicking.

"Really can't." Future Phoebe said dead serious.

"Why not?" Leo asked confused.

"We need you to stay here and." Chris said doing his vague 'protecting the future' thing.

"Besides when you say you're going to 'talk to the elders' how many times do you actually do that? I think we all know you're really hanging out with your whitelighter friends." Paige rambled.

"What? I do not!" Leo protested while Prue and past Phoebe looked at him carefully.

"Suuure you don't." Future Phoebe said.

"I- usually go to the Elders." Leo said guilty.

"Told you so." said Paige to Phoebe.

Past Phoebe and Prue looked at Leo accusingly.

"What!" Prue said glaring.

"Well you girls get so emotional sometimes…" Leo justified.

"So you just leave us when we're about to get attacked? What do you make up 'what the elders say'? Or are you always faking it when you say 'the elders don't know'" Prue said furious.

Leo was wise enough not to say anything.

Phoebe the younger looked at her older self.  "Oh your hair is so cute! Where did you, I mean I get that shirt?"

"You like it? It was 50% off at-" Older Phoebe ranted until she felt the annoyance of her sisters.

Elder Leo chose that moment to orb in. Chris thanked the heavens that he wasn't wearing his elder robes, that would have been a pain to explain. 'and change the future in even worse ways' (his favorite line)

(( There is Leo aka Leo A and Elder Leo aka Leo B, don't mix them up now.  Be glad I'm not calling him Wyatt :P))

Elder Leo turned to Chris first, "Chris! Where did you take her? What did you do?" Leo B complained.

"Me? Why do you always blame me?" Chris complained

"He was only trying to protect me." Piper said drawing Leo B's attention to her.

His eyes widened and he stuttered. "You- You're Pregnant!"

            "Congrads, Dad, If you'd been around anytime in the last 6 months you would have noticed that." Chris yelled.

"Who's the father?" Leo B asked Piper carefully.

Chris rolled his eyes. "Gee _Dad_  you wouldn't happen to know anything that happened oh 6 months ago before you left permanently  that might explain-"

"it's Chris." Piper said.

Leo B assumed she meant who the Dad was.

"I always knew you had a thing for whitelighters but I mean he's young enough to be your son." Leo B said bitterly. He was still in love with Piper and couldn't imagine her falling for someone else so quickly.

"Look who's talking you watched us all grow up, and you're old enough to be our grandpa Leo." Future Phoebe said slapping Leo B for his stupidity.

Chris just stared stupidly at the fight. Was his biological father that oblivious.(head in the clouds if you will )

"But you told me I was the father!" Leo A said defensively. Leo A was very happy that HIS Piper wasn't there at the moment.

Leo B suddenly notices Leo A, and is 1 part shocked, part two wondering if Piper went to the past to 'bond' with his past self- and barely registered Prue.

At his older self's confused look Leo A corrects his sentence.  "I mean, his, yours- ours- future me."

"No not the Dad, the baby! It's Chris."

Both Leo's still looked confused.

Piper got dizzy, all the arguing wasn't helping. Chris rushed to her side.

"I'm sorry about, you know, mini me." He said gesturing at her stomach.

Leo B looked concernedly at Piper. "I didn't mean to upset you, but I need to know, who the father is."

Chris looked from Leo to Piper. "I'm glad I got my brains from the Halliwell side of the family."

"You and me both" Paige added.

Both Leo's remained terminally confused while the Haliwells finally got it- sort of.

"So, what, Paige, the baby is your niece/nephew?" Prue said.

It took a moment for Paige to get what Prue was thinking.

"Yes, he is, but Chris is not my brother." Paige said while Future Phoebe laughed.

"You thought they were siblings?!"

"You Lied?!" Past Phoebe said, Whitelighters lied?

" He lies all the time you should all get used it." Future Phoebe said.

"Yeah, what is with that? Didn't your mother ever teach you not to lie?" Piper said from her chair, grinning.

Chris, Paige and Future Phoebe laughed while everyone else seemed confused.

"So then will somebody please explain to me the truth?" Prue says exasperated with all the running around the bush.

"Philosophers have been trying to figure that out for centuries." Paige said.

"Ok, ok." Piper says sick of the arguing. She was pregnant and didn't need all this stress. "Let's sit down so that I can explain-"

" to those of you who should have figured it out ages ago" Phoebe said finishing her sentence for her.

"1. This baby is Leo's and my child. 2. This baby is Chris, as in the Chris that came from the future to here. 3. Leo this is your son Chris. You've met before. Now apologize to him.  And when I mean Leo I mean you( pointing at Elder Leo)."

"Well technically he's not ½ Whitelighter. He's ½-" Paige comments.

"Shut up, they're all confused enough as it is." Chris interjects.

Future Leo's eyes bug out, "You…(pointing at Chris) I'm going to be a father again? But how is that possible?"

"Do I need give you 'The Talk." Chris asks Elder Leo.

Piper glares at her son giving him the 'you're not helping things' look.

"Remember 6 months ago Wyatt's Birthday, suspicious aphrodisiacs…"

Leo's face turns an interesting shade of red.  "oh. Right. That."

Prue was curious why Piper would call Leo by his last name, were they barely on speaking terms?

~~

 Bru Ha ha ha!

Suggestions? Comments? Should I bring Little Wyatt in? Or should we talk about Leo's elder stats first? (Sorry for taking so long to post this, but finals are this coming week and I've been dead sick for the last week and ½) Elders and Eyries should have a new chapter sometime in the next few weeks too. And you might get a diff. Leo/Piper one shot soon.

Thank you Kateydidnt for the use of your computer and for helping to nurture this chapter's plot bunnies! Yay late night roommate talks!


	6. Where is Future Prue?

Future Imperfect Ch. 6   
If you're looking for a somewhat serious plot please read my other Charmed fanfic Elders and Eyries which has plenty of humor, it's just not as uh.. plot-less as this is. And review.. it's getting lonely. 

Last time::: "Well technically he's not ½ Whitelighter. He's ½-" Paige comments.(Technically he's ½ Elder and not ½ whitelighter)

"Shut up, they're all confused enough as it is." Chris interjects.

Future Leo's eyes bug out, "You…(pointing at Chris) I'm going to be a father again? But how is that possible?"

"Do I need give you 'The Talk." Chris asks Elder Leo.

Piper glares at her son giving him the 'you're not helping things' look.

"Remember 6 months ago Wyatt's Birthday, suspicious aphrodisiacs…"

Leo's face turns an interesting shade of red. "oh. Right. That."

Prue was curious why Piper would call Leo by his last name, were they barely on speaking terms?

-----"Where is future me? I see Future Phoebe and Piper--" Prue asked.   
"Is she at work?" Phoebe A asked innocently, after all Prue was the sister with workaholic syndrome.   
Piper and Future Phoebe exchanged uneasy looks. They had been dreading that question since they'd seen their older sister again. Paige seeing their inability to answer, answered for them 

"No, actually, she's on a--long vacation."   
"Where?" Leo A asked.   
"Far faaar away- over the rainbow." Paige answered at about the same time Future Phoebe answered "Disneyland."   
Paige and Piper gave her 'Disneyland? what crack are you on?' looks.   
"What? It's the happiest place on Earth." Future Phoebe said wincing.   
"I'm at Disneyland." Prue said deadpan.   
"Vacation." Piper answered.   
Leo A was about to offer to orb Future Prue in, when his older somewhat wiser self stopped him. 

"The point is, we're not going to bring her into this. This isn't some pleasure trip, you're not supposed to be here." 

"But how do can you use the power of three with Prue on vacation?" Phoebe A asked.

Piper looked to Phoebe B.

"We improvise, yes that's it, we're pretty good at that." Phoebe B said.  
"How is little Wyatt doing?" Piper asked Phoebe B, changing the subject, coming back from her own little world where she was mentally vacationing.   
"Piper! When did your mind turn to the gutter?" Phoebe A said sort of impressed with her older sister.   
Piper glared at Phoebe- both of them.   
"Wha? Why are you glaring at me, glare at the younger sleazier version. She said it. I have no control over my past." Future Phoebe griped.   
"Hey! You're supposed to be on MY side- our side." Phoebe A said to herself. It wasn't fair Both Pipers agreed with each other...   
"And why am I arguing with myself." Future Phoebe asked confused.   
A baby could be heard crying downstairs.   
"Who-" Prue asks.   
"Uh, I'll go take care of Baby Wyatt." Paige said orbing down, while rolling her eyes. Let the others explain him.  
"Baby Wyatt?"   
"Uh you know, the Wyatt baby." Phoebe B said trying to cover and doing an unusually good job of it.  
"Can we NOT go there? Jeez, is there anything you don't want to tell your past selves?" Chris yells temperamentally. 

"Chris." Paige warned tilting her head.  
"Maybe we can mess things up so that none of us live this long?" Chris added with great sarcasm. 

"Timeline shemineline. Time travel makes my head hurt, but lying makes my head hurt worse." Phoebe said rubbing her temples.  
"Don't worry Chris, our favorite Elder will elderdust their memories when we're done with this." Piper says flipantly, waving her hands about.   
"Favorite Elder?" Prue said skeptically. "I thought you hated the Elders Piper." Prue thought back to all the problems the Elders had caused with Piper's engagement.   
Chris snorted.   
Phoebe A, Prue and Leo were desperately trying to grasp the future their counterparts had overshared. 

"I do," Piper said defensively, but caved a little at Elder Leo's wince. "mostly."  
Leo B winced. "The other Elders are not going to like this-"   
"Other Elders?" Leo A asked looking at Piper with dawning realization/dread.

"I'm just glad you're not upset about this little-incident." Phoebe B said carefully. She could feel the betrayal and confusion coming off Elder Leo.

"Elders don't get angry." Elder Leo said carefully as Paige orbed back in handing toddler Wyatt to his mommy. Piper immediately began making cooing noises at the powerful someday evil Wyatt, not to be confused with his Dad- Mr. Wyatt.

Paige snorted and said to Elder Leo. "Yeah, right, like you Elders don't have a SMITE button."

Leo B sighed. "No, Paige, we don't."

"Just like as our whitelighter you always actually checked with the Elders when you said you were going to- "Sun god." (Season 6- "Witchstock" reference) Paige countered. Leo was pissing her off, the way he had been treating Piper.

Elder Leo opened his mouth to answer, glancing at Piper in worry, hoping Paige hadn't told Piper yet about his 1960's self hitting on Paige. "I- did." He said defensively.

"Uh huh, right, "Phoebe A said skeptically.

"Oh Save it for the other Elders Leo, He (pointing at Leo A) admitted to it." Phoebe B added.

Leo B said the only thing he could at a moment like that. "Crap."

Chris was sitting down with his Mom alternately covering his eyes, ears and mouth in concern. It looked like a weird mockery of "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" and the episode "Sense and Sense Ability."

A/N:(ideas… anyone? If not the next chapter will be the epilogue. Any other Future issues you want in this?) I wrote this weeks ago but I was hoping to be able to make it longer and more funny than it is… but I figure you'll forgive me because it means I'm actually posting SOMETHING. Which… um is better than nothing? ::uncertain::

Ja ne minna!


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